Good and Bad

Well, we took a 12 hour day trip to Whidbey Island today. It's truly amazing there. We did a great hike right under the Deception Pass bridge. Straight down to the beach. I must've forgot the old saying "what goes down must come back up". I mentioned it was STRAIGHT DOWN, right?! That means it was STRAIGHT UP coming back. Yep - my whole lower body was burning. The kind of burning where you seriously think someone lit a fire under your butt! We kept a fast pace and tried not to stop. There were a few times that my mind tried to convince me I couldn't go on - but I pushed through and made it. I was totally out of breath at the top but it felt GOOD. Then, we stopped at a great state park and did lots of physical activity there, too. We had packed a cooler full of healthy foods - fruit, almonds, hummus, veggies, tuna sandwiches, lots of water. I think that was the first road trip ever that didn't begin with mini chocolate hostess donuts and milk from a gas station. That was the good part of my story. Now here's the other part........

After the ferry ride and long drive home, we were starving. We went to McGraths Fish House for dinner. I had mahi mahi and Pete had salmon - both with a salad (no dressing - just oil & vinegar) and roasted veggies on the side. Sounds super healthy so far, right? Well, let me add that both of our fish meals came topped with a different cream based sauce and mine came with a pina colada rice concoction on the side (very yummy, too). As if that weren't enough - we gave in and shared a marionberry cobbler between the three of us. Halfway through that amazing pie I felt extreme guilt and anguish. Pete told me that I shouldn't feel bad and that we won't be doing this on a regular basis. He re-iterated how well we have been doing. They say if you eat clean 80% of the time you're doing pretty good. We have seriously been doing it at least 95%. So, I dropped the guilt then and there and agreed that we will NOT be giving in very often but that we also can't totally deprive ourselves. At least we SHARED the dessert ;) Well, I didn't have to worry long about my guilt making me feel bad. By the time I got home my belly was in serious pain. I have been eating so clean for the past 2 weeks that it felt like it was rejecting every bad thing that was in there from dinner. I had also eaten more than I thought so it felt bloated and too full. As much as I hate feeling like this, I am thankful for it. This is the reminder I need of how bad eating poorly really does make me feel. I look forward to having a lean and clean day of eating tomorrow - and every day after.

One last exciting tidbit - tomorrow I am going to sign us up at the community center. I never thought I'd say this but I really can't wait to get my butt there to work out. They also offer so many neat sounding group classes - which I've always liked. Zumba, Jazzercize, Aqua Fit, Pilates - HERE I COME!!! The best part is - Pete has graciously volunteered to go to some of them with me. His only caveat was that I have to go one time first to make sure it isn't all girls or too feminine (guess he isn't up for jazzercize). hahahaha! I'd pay money to see that though!

I'll let you know how the next few days go.....

Psychology lessons

It's a funny thing, this blog. I started it as a journal to document what I knew would be a tough journey to get healthy and fit (afterall, this has been a lifelong struggle). I also know how much certain people/stories have inspired me just by hearing about their struggles and successes. I have a hope that this blog will do that for people. If one person feels like there is someone out there in the same boat that can relate to them and that they can gain an ounce of inspiration from, it's all worth it. The last reason I wanted to have the blog is for accountability. How could I ever write about all the clean foods I am preparing, the work outs, etc if I turn around and know that someone following the blog sees me eating junk, etc. That's my favorite part, actually. It's almost as though I know people are watching me and I don't want to let them down. I like having that hanging over my head. Keeps me honest ;)

When I started this journey a couple of weeks ago, I hadn't given any thought about the psychology behind MY eating. I had read Chantel's view's on why she over ate and I could totally relate but that was the extent of it. One day I was talking to a co-worker about all this and we both felt like eating was a social thing for us which made it hard. You know the routine - a friend calls you haven't seen in a while or it's a special occasion like a birthday. The first thing I always thing of "yes - let's get together - we can meet for lunch, we can meet for dinner, HEY - better yet, I'll throw a dinner party. Who doesn't like that?! Well, even during and after that conversation, the lightbulb hadn't gone completely off.

Last night I was driving home and talking to Pete and he was telling me how he was down and had a super stressful day. I hung up with him and immediately this thought popped into my head "oh man, I feel so bad for him. Wait, I know, I will swing by Coldstone on my way home and pick us up some ice cream. That'll cheer him up and I'll feel good for cheering him up. I'll also feel good because I love ice cream. I will get the smallest size of the reduced fat version - that won't conflict too bad with the eating clean". By this time, I was about 3 blocks before the turn for Coldstone. Thank goodness my willpower kicked in and I knew THAT was the worst idea EVER. A week and a half with no sugar, no sugar substitutes, and NO more craving sugar. The last thing I needed was to eat some sugar because I know myself and where that'll lead. I will be back to craving sweets and letting that take over my brain. I am happy to say I drove right past and felt a huge sense of accomplishment.

At that very moment, the lightbulb FINALLY went off and everything clicked. I am going to call it my "ah-hah" moment. I finally realized that I am an "eat-through-your-emotions" type gal. I think I was in denial before. Real denial - like, I really did NOT see it before. Scary. Come to think of it, I like to celebrate every high point in our life with meals out. Rich, thick, heavy meals. Apparently, I like to cheer people up with food, too. I am sure that includes myself when I have a bad day or feel stressed. I can't say I even know what to do about it yet. I do know that at least now I can see it, and I have the power over my feelings to not give in and feed them with food. I am going to work on finding a new way to cope. For now though, I will just put the pedal to the metal and speed by as quick as I can before I have the chance to give in.

It's funny how much psychology is tied in with eating, nutrition, fitness, etc. This blog has forced me to actually THINK about every little thing, sometimes to the point of over analyzing. That's okay because that's going to get me where I need to go.

Two last tid bits (dang, this blog went loooong): One, I found some M&M's and Pete will attest to the fact that I've mentioned a few times that I should have just a couple. Thankfully I haven't - but I did want you to know that it is still a real struggle I cope with daily. They announced a little celebration at work tomorrow. The first thing I thought of was "I should just leave early - I can't struggle with trying to eat clean when bad food will be there". Well, looks like it's my lucky day - they are going to have chicken skewers and fruit kabobs. I love those skinny little healthy elves who are making good choices at work. I'm very grateful!

Second tidbit (after yet another looong paragraph) - We have this really great, shiny, new community center in Federal Way that the family checked out last weekend. It has a few indoor pools, lazy river, game room, fitness area, group classes, basketball courts, etc. It's a little pricey so Pete and I agreed that we would wait until he got a job to join and amp up our fitness. Low and behold, he got a job today!!! Looks like our fitness level is going to dramatically increase next week - which, surprisingly, I am really excited about. I can't wait to see where fitness paired with clean eating will take my body & mind.

What a journey!

Until next time my friends.......

Goals and the DREADED Exercise

I normally set big goals for myself like “I will lose 30 pounds by the summer”. Well, I make it half way there and then get discouraged and fall off the wagon. Needless to say, I never make it to the end goal. The end goal just seems like it is light years away and so unreachable.

This time around, since I am focusing on making a life change, I decided to test a new approach since the previous approach has not worked. I decided that my first goal would be to lose 5 pounds – no matter how long it took. I am refusing to even think about how many pounds I need to lose all together or the end weight I want to be at. Just thinking about that discourages me – it feels TOO hard. Thinking of 5 small pounds seems very doable and definitely in reach. Well, I am happy to report that as of this morning, I have MET MY FIRST GOAL! 5 pounds down! Now, I am aiming for another 5. If I keep this pace I will be where I want to be by summer without ever having to stress about it.

I know that fitness is a huge part of this journey. I have always said “I hate exercise”. I’ve since realized that this kind of negative talk will surely keep me from meeting my goals. If I am thinking “I hate exercise” then I WILL hate it. Needless to say, I am working on more positive self talk. I left the negatives behind when we left 2009 (ooh – rhyming and all – pretty catchy!) Anyhow – I am focusing on just doing. The past few days I mentioned that another small goal I set was to work out at least 3 times this week. Yesterday I reiterated this by telling you that Pete was committed to kicking me out of the bed at 5:30 am today so I can work out. Well, much to my surprise (and Pete’s dismay) – no one kicked anyone out of the bed. The alarm went off, I gave myself a couple of minutes to wake up, then I got up and went downstairs to start my boot camp dvd. Guess what, that damn DVD was nowhere to be found. For a split second I told myself “that’s okay Anna, you tried. You can just come back and try again tomorrow” ER – NO! I quickly realized what I was doing and put my willpower to the test. I was not going to let a missing dvd be the reason I missed my first workout and my goal. So, half asleep, rummaging through 200 dvd’s, I found it! Popped it in and proceeded to keep pace with Tony Horton and his 2 compadres. I won’t lie – I had to stop for a few seconds to catch my breath and wipe the sweat off my forehead – but I did FINISH the dvd. May seem insignificant to some, but for me it’s a big accomplishment. Now – I have 2 more before the end of the week. Totally doable.



My brother in law (who’s crazy into fitness – very well versed in it, too) posted a comment yesterday about a jump rope routine. I have a jump rope and may try a little skipping this evening just to acclimate myself and try something I haven’t done for a while. I strongly suggest this to anyone else looking for an “out-of-the-box” workout. I’ll let you know how that goes.

Lunch

Remember the fish we made Saturday night? Yeah, it made a delicious topping for my spinach salad. Its all so easy I made it in 1 minute at my desk. Yum!

Weekly Weigh In

Well, today was our first "official" weigh in. We decided that every Monday morning we'd weigh ourselves to track our progress. The first week was very successful. I lost 4.5 pounds last week and Pete lost 10! Super exciting and just proves that Eating Clean is the cornerstone of success. This week we've each set small goals we are striving to attain (as seen in my post yesterday). In my quest to ACTUALLY meet one of my goals (I am great at setting goals but in the past haven't always made it to the actual "meeting" part) - I promised to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow morning and do my boot camp workout video. So, Pete has happily accepted the position of kicking me out of bed when the alarm goes off tomorrow before the sun even considers coming up. Aye Carrumba! I know this is what it'll take to get where I want to be and I am willing to sacrifice to get there.

This week's goals

Mine:
* eat smaller portions
* exersize 2 times this week

Pete's:
* make sure to eat the 5 - 6 small meals per day - no skipping.

I am off to bake 2 lbs of sweet potatoes for this upcoming week. YUM!

RECIPES

This morning I made scrambled eggs with fresh spinach and orange bell pepper with a side of whole grain toast and fruit salad. So yummy and filling. It is sure to give me a great energetic start to my day. It looked beautiful so I had to take a picture.

Spray a saute pan with olive oil  cooking spray and then add about a cup of spinach and 1/3 cup of orange bell pepper. Cook until spinach wilts slightly. Add 3/4 cup egg beaters, pepper, and some Mrs. Dash. Cook until done. For the fruit salad I cut up one granny smith apple, one banana, & a can of drained mandarin oranges. I squeezed a small amount of lemon over the fruit and mixed it together. The toast is a whole grain flax seed bread. YUM! There's lots of leftovers to munch on later.


For dinner tonight we are going to try this parchment baked fish recipe. It calls for halibut but I am going to use mahi mahi:
4 - 12" X 18" sheets of parchment paper
4 - 6 oz. halibut filets
4 tbsp commercial pesto sauce
1 cup shredded carrots
1 cup shredded zucchini
1 cup shredded napa cabbage
4 cloves of minced garlic
1 tsp sea salt
1 tsp freshly ground pepper
4 tsp olive oil
4 tsp low sodium chicken stock
cooking spray

Preheat oven to 450 - unfold parchment and lightly coat with cooking spray (leave edges of paper ungreased). Place halibut on one side but not on the ungreased edge. Spread 1 tbsp of pesto over the fillet and top with 1/4 cup of each: carrot, cabbage, zucchini. sprinkle with 1/4 the salt & pepper and one minced clove of garlic. Drizzle filet with 1 tsp of oil and 1 tsp chicken stock. Fold paper and seal adges with narrow folds. Repeat with remaining ingredients. You will have 4 complete packets.

Bake for 15 minutes or until puffy and lightly browned. To serve, open packets and transfer ingredients to a plate - pour juices over top. Or, you can serve right in the packets - just transfer packet to a plate and pierce first to allow steam to escape.

Enjoy! If you try these recipes - be sure to leave feedback so I can see what other people think.

Happy eating!